“We learn about life from stuff on the internet and I don’t know what’s real or fake…”
“We’re like numb to stuff that should break our hearts. You know, like failure, and loss… trauma. But we’re not sad till somebody like a celebrity says we should feel bad.”
“Why are we like this? Is something wrong with us? With me? Am I wrong?”
I heard these words being expressed from my nieces and younger female cousins over the last holiday season and I could only try to comfort them because I had no answer and their parents didn’t seem to see it. These bright, beautiful and woke individuals should’ve been enjoying their break from school and shiny new gifts but instead they worried. When I brought these thoughts to my (various) relatives, my concerns were waived away and told that “they were just being dramatic” and that they had nothing to worry about at their age. But they’re wrong and my concerns came screaming back to me upon hearing that a dear friend had taken their own life and that they had suffered from depression from an early age that was never really addressed or recognized.
Recent studies have shown an uptick of “depressive episodes among adolescents and young adults, particularly within Generation Z, compared to older generations; this is considered a major mental health issue due to the sensitive developmental stage during adolescence and early adulthood.”
We live in a digital age where our younger generations are taking social cues from and emulating what they see online – good or bad. Their identities are being dictated to them, then vilified. And worst still, their feelings are being weaponized. As I made myself available to my young relatives, I was horrified by stories they shared of people they knew who got lured into social circles that encouraged them to destroy, disobey or outright break the law – promising them that it would make them feel better, be seen and included.
I cannot say that my school experience was completely idyllic but we had programs in place that many had never heard of today. Maybe we were an experiment (or an exception) but I think many of these programs should be put back into place to save our future generations.
When I was in Junior High School (middle school for some), kids from the nearby High School would visit our campus once a month to talk to those that felt out of place, lost, or unaccepted. They were called peer-counselors and while I didn’t sign-up for that buddy service then, I did become a peer-counselor during my junior and senior years of High School. As peer-counselors, we were given an informal approach to counselling and then entrusted with this important role because “kids will talk to kids” they said. We were told that It was imperative that we helped those who would, otherwise, drown in a sea of feelings they did not know how to process. That many would not talk to an adult because of not being believed, not being taken seriously or being ignored as this is what they were used to at home.
As a peer-counselor I learned that a lot of our personal angst came from those around us (directly and indirectly) and that included kids who haven’t “lived enough life to understand it”. A person in their early to late teens is unwittingly plunged in the deep end of an ocean of emotions that they may be ill equipped to handle. I was not prepared to hear that nor are we ready to navigate that ocean without a lifeline at that age. Parents, relatives, even some teachers are forgetting to be what they need us to be – a lifeguard.
I don’t know how many secrets I was told, in the two years I was a peer-counselor, but the overall themes were the same across social standings, age, color and cultural background – Fear. Fear was the number one motivator of what was to befall them next; Anxiety. Depression. Anger. Death. These events shouldn’t be equated with our developmental years and yet they are and we explain it away as “part of the human experience”. The world is a scary place and it’s getting scarier. We need to know what to look for in our young to help them through this, to deliver hope… to deliver a life line.
I’ve had the misfortune of experiencing the loss of several people who felt that they were a disappointment, were unloved, unwelcome or invisible. That feeling of having no one they could trust, no one to have their back, no one that could help them battle their demons – will fester. Some will persevere, learning to fight the dark. But many will pollute their body and mind with drugs and alcohol, sinking into a slow death while others will take a shorter path to an end.
For those who feel unseen, we need to open our eyes.
For those who feel silenced, we need to open our ears.
For those who feel unloved, we need to open our hearts.
But for those who we’ve already lost – we need to do better!
This is an official call to arms against a familiar enemy and a reminder that mental illness is not shameful or embarrassing. We cannot afford to turn our backs on each other and hope for a better world. Depression can be defeated if we normalize talking about it, educating ourselves on it and taking our community back from it. There is still hope! There is still time!
Common Signs of Depression:
- Mood: Feeling sad, anxious, empty, or hopeless
- Energy: Feeling tired, lacking energy, or slowed down
- Sleep: Having trouble sleeping, sleeping too much, or having other sleep disturbances
- Appetite: Eating more or less than usual, unexplained weight loss or gain
- Interest: Losing interest in activities or hobbies
- Concentration: Having trouble concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
- Thoughts: Having thoughts of suicide, self-harm, or feeling like life isn’t worth living
- Physical symptoms: Unexplained pain; headaches, back pain, digestive issues, etc
- Behavior: Having angry outbursts, irritability, or frustration
- Self-esteem: Feeling worthless, guilty, or self-critical
- Self-blame: Fixating on past failures or self-blame for events they had no control over
Resources
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-mental-health
https://www.aecf.org/blog/generation-z-and-mental-health
https://www.pacificoaks.edu/voices/blog/gen-z-view-on-mental-health/
https://www.health.org.uk/news-and-comment/blogs/teen-depression
-Lauren Spenser
Junior Girl
Girl Museum