One day, in 2022, when we left the school for home as illegal students, I suddenly realized a girl in our school who was in grade 8th at the time, probably 14 or 15 years old, was getting married. We could hear the sound of music from the street from the morning, but didn’t know whose marriage that was. Realizing it was her wedding ceremony, it felt like I got slapped on both cheeks.
Shocked and terrified, I was walking home. The streets were not crowded. There were barely any people around me, but I felt suffocated to an extent that I couldn’t breathe. I went home, did my homework, read some pages of book, but doing all these, my mind couldn’t get the realization that I could be that girl. I could be sitting on that chair instead of her, wearing that green dress. Having henna on my hands. And maybe a sheep being sacrificed on the way for the happiness of my death. My unannounced, silent death, the kind in which people dance, enjoy and laugh. I could be her. Getting married to someone I didn’t know or hadn’t seen for once on earth at age 13. I realized nothing could be taken for granted. I had no say, the weakest of the weak. I couldn’t say anything, choose, or refuse. So I realized I had to become strong. I had to become empowered. I had to have a voice.
Four years later, I read the new rule of Taliban for girls’ marriage consent. Angry, frustrated, terrified, but not surprised. According to Article 5 of this new law, the guardian of a child has the full right to arrange a marriage for a minor and such a contract would be considered legal. This, wholly and without any doubt completely takes away the right of choice for girls in Afghanistan. It takes away their voice to say ‘no’. It doesn’t end here. In 31- article Decree No. 18 (also referred to as Principles of Separation Between Spouses), it is said: “The silence of a virgin girl after reaching puberty may be interpreted as consent to marriage.” As an Afghan, I am very well aware that this rule is not new. This has been the case for many years, but recently more so.
Marriages in Afghanistan, are arranged, even forced, underaged, and super manipulating. A father, brother, grandfather, and even other male relatives have the complete choice and authority on everything, even when it comes to marriage of girls. And yes, a girl is voiceless. So, if a girl is voiceless, and no one can hear anything of her, she is considered to be silent. And silence is considered consent. Let me give you an example: a bird’s wings are cut off, and it is said that if the bird doesn’t fly off, it means that it is consent to be killed and eaten.
This is exactly what’s happening. Basically, women don’t have a say. In fact, they can’t have a say. There is no minimum age for marriage, giving all control to men and patriarchy, with no rights for women and girls. No room to say no. No shelter of their fundamental rights for them to seek protection when pressured.
The problem is not only this, but we also need to criticize the Taliban government for creating such a so-called legal document without people’s consent. They might have approved this order through their parliament, as they call it. But in that room, there wasn’t a single woman present to give her thoughts on it, as they don’t include women in decision making at all. And I don’t see myself obliged to follow any decision made or any document signed and approved in a parliament in which I have no representative in.
What worries me is the increasing rate of child brides, early marriages, forced marriages, unhappy and dominantly controlled married lives. In the long run, it would increase domestic violence, rape in marriage, consistent abuse, and many other issues. Let’s not fail to mention mental health. Through this new law, and in Taliban ‘s rule, mental health and wellness of women and girls in Afghanistan are at the highest risk.
Child marriage, especially forced child marriage, is child abuse. Without any exception or exclusion. And any law, of any kind, under any circumstances, through any parliament, with any kind of approval, which excludes anyone, or makes decision for anyone without them being involved, or allows any kind of violence and abuse, be it direct or indirect, has to be condemned and stood up against.
In this period in time, where all of us are more interconnected than we think, it is essential for the global society, national or international organizations and states of different countries to protect human rights at any cost, and give the full credit and consequences of this nonsense law and document to the government of Taliban.
As humanity, no matter where we live, or where we come from, please understand that a girl being pushed into an early unwanted marriage can affect our lives in other corners of the world. And it is not acceptable, and it should never be.
-Tahera K.
Guest Writer
Girl Museum Inc.